Musings of the American Dragon
by Ninja2k
Summary: What would Jake do to get vent after the events of the blog. Every one needs to vent even Jake. Not canon. Warning: OOC, Depressed and dark Jake.
1. Entry 1 Birthday gifts

**Disclamer: **I don't own ADJL. None of us do. If we did why would we be here?

**Pairings: **None. I'm no good at pairings. Plus I don't really like Rose.

**Warning: **Depressed and dark Jake. OOC Very minor OCs, like teachers and stuff. Just background people. A little cute Emoness 3 :D I love emoness ^^

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><p><strong>Entry 1: Birthday gifts<strong>

I heard this helps. More like been told many times. My friend Trixie gave me this notebook for my birthday telling me that it can help me vent. I'm a little uneasy about the whole venting thing. The last time I vented the whole magical world put a bounty on Rotwood. So you can see where I'm headed.

I've never really done anything like this before. Tck... I don't know what will come out of me. I've never had someone to talk to about my life before. I may not just feel comfortable. Maybe I won't even use this journal at all. Who knows. Oh, if any one is reading this I have one thing to say... don't you wackos have anything better to do then read about some teenager's screwed up life? What is it them 'rents call it... oh yah; teen angst. Pffft. Let's see them try to get through being a teen during this time.

Don't know why I'm writing in like this. I thought it would be like "Oh today I can't believe.." or "Why would he do that..." something like that. Not like this. Strange. But it makes it feel less like a diary. This is so random.

I know how hard it is for them to work and all. But its like they forgot how hard it was to be a teen. Being a teen is hard during any time, but parents seem to forget. It's like they believe that since we have things like ipods and cell phones it makes everything easy. Easy my ass. They just make everything worst. Everyday its like "I got the new Ipod" or "look at my new smart phone". We teenages can be hella shallow ya know. It's all about status and our little groups we "belong" to.

Strerotypes ain't making it any easier. I'm the skater boy. The one who's into rap and hip hop. Yeah I like rap. I'm a B-boy. I'm into hip hop. So I'm the punk-ass skater breaker rapper asain kid.(1) I ain't in any gang or nothin'. I don't act like this because I have to. I like to. I can do other things then what people expect from me. I'm just who I am. Dang, I sound sooo corny. When did I start to sound like chickflick?

I think I'm gonna leave it at that. Dang, wrote more then I thought I would. Maybe Trix is right. This notebook may just come in handy. 'Till next time you wackos. That means you too Trixie and Spud. Haley, don't think I forgot about you. Or you Fu.

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><p>I look down at the notebook in my hands. The notebook is cracking. (2) I mean it looks really nice. Trix had the notebook custom made. It was dark red with a mighty dragon proudly coiled around the the cover and back. The dragon was the same color as the book, it was an impression. My name <em>Jake Long: The Emdrag<em>_,_ was printed near the bottom on the right hand side in elegant gold print. (3)

"I should get her something nice for her birthday," I smile.

"For who?"

"H-Haley! What are you doing here?" I shout. I shove the notebook under my pillow, praying that she didn't see it.

"I was just going to give you your brithday presant. I finally found it! I couldn't think of any thing better to get you this year. So I got you this," she smiles and holds a small slim box.

"Thanks Haley," I smile.

She hands it to me and smiles. I pull the top off to find another gift card. I smile. It must be hard to shop for your older brother. "A $35 gift card to Zumez. Thanks Hales," I say. (4)

She smiles. "You know. This means that you have to get me something good for my birthday."

Same old Haley. Straight to the point. "We'll see. I might just get you a gift card too," I joke.

"Gift card again? No, thanks. I'm sure your boy brain can think of something to give a smart and sweet little girl like me," she says snobby like.

I smirk. "I'll think of something."

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><p><strong>AN: **I know its been a while since I've update any story. I am so sorry but I have been so busy with school. Somethings in life caught up to me. I will try to get a chapter up for Shinobi and the World of Magic. But the truth is, I'm way over Naruto. Right now its Bleach and Young Justice. But I still lov Harry Potter. I will try to get a chapter out as soon as I can.

1. I am sorry if I offened anyone. what I'm trying to get at is sterotypes. Jake will be dealing with it a lot in this story.

2. I'm trying to get in all of there slang they use. I'm sure everyone's notice that Jake and his firends use a lot of slang.

3. I though that he needed something on it. I mean a normal notebook would be a sad preasent. And nobody other then the magical world know what emdrag means. People might just think its a stage name.

all know that Jake is a skater. And Zumez is a skater store. It would be hard to shop for your older brother if you're like 8 years old and a girl


	2. Entry 2 Screw Ups

**Disclamer: **I don't own ADJL. None of us do. If we did why would we be here?

**Pairings: **None. I'm no good at pairings. Plus I don't really like Rose. I know some people disagree. But I just don't really like her.

**Warning: **Depressed and dark Jake. Very minor OCs, like teachers and stuff. Just background people. Self-harm. A little cute Emoness. I love emoness

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><p>Entry 2 Screw Ups<p>

I can't stand Rotwood. Why does he have to be dis'ing on magical creatures. Everytime he talks about how dumb dragons are, I want to dragon it up all over his face. I learned my lesson. No more blogging. 'Cause the emdrag gots a rep to protect. Not to metion, he doesn't want anyone getting done in. But Rotwood is really pissing me off. It's not bad enough that because of dragon bussiness I don't have time to study so I'm failing, he doesn't have to rub it in. As if I don't already feel bad enough. My parents work hard for me, all they want is me to do well in school. That's not really happening now.

At least Haley is living up to my parents expecations. She gets straight A's and goes to a gifted school. I've got nothing going on for me. Other then being the American dragon and all. I'm just the screw up kid. Mistakes wer made raising me and not on Haley. I'm the reason that Haley was born. I'm such a failure that they need an other kid. One that would be raised right.

I know that they love and care about me. But I feel like I'm just a disapointment to them. They expected so much out of me. Instead they get this. A middle schooler hardly passing his classes. I'm such a dissappointment. (1)

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><p>I close the notebook and sigh. Maybe I'm over reacting. I'm not much of a failure. I have have a few things going on with my life. But being a magical creature won't get me into college. Skateboarding will get me no where but in jail or old people hating me.<p>

Its 8 o'clock and I barely had time to finish my homework. I won't get anymore done tonite. I have to go out and protrol the city. Maybe I won't screw up this time.

**Time skip...**

"JAKE! How could you fail such an easy task!" Gramps yells.

"Well... It was dark and I couldn't let the elves get hurt. I had to protect them! They kept getting in the way! I understand that they would want keep orb safe but they need to stay back so I could do my thing" I say.

"But you failed! Do you not understand that Jake? The orb was damaged along with many elves. It will take months for the orb to be repaired. This puts the elves in a real hard place. They will be late to the pole. Jake you must be more attentive." Gramps states frimly.

"I am attentive! I can't keep an eye on a dozen or two elves at the same time! Heck, I bet you can't either G," I defend.

"I asure you I can. I'm sure Haley can aswell," he says.

"Oh I see how it is. You been thinkin' Haley's better them the Mac-daddy! (2) She may be better at the school bussiness, but I'm boss at being the Em-drag yo," I say.

"Well I will give that you have been doing this a long time. Doing a great job..."

"See what is it I heard? You said it yourself G..."

"..but she does a few things better then you Jake. I would like to see how she does out there along," Gramps looks at me. "I know you work hard. You are a great American Dragon. You have done so much good. You are very powerful and strong. The magical community looks up to you. The dragon council knows you are great. You have made me so proud. But I believe that Haley, if trained can exceed you at certain things. It will take time, but she will. She will, just like everything else." (3)

I stare at him. I can't believe he just said that. My own grandfather. He has been teaching me for years that I can do anything I put my mind to. Now he's saying that he believes that Haley is better then me. She will exceed. She always excels. I'm the one left in the dusk. The one thing I can excel in is my dragon bussiness. Well, that and skating. But that doesn't make my mom and pops proud.

It seems that grandpa can see what's running through my mind. That or he can see my disappointment, despair, and fear in my eyes.

"Jake I didn't mean..."

**Time skip...**

But I don't catch what he says. I rush out the door as fast as I can. I just want to get home and go to bed.

**Journal... **

I can't believe gramps just said that. Dragon bussiness was the one place that I can be better at then Haley. Why would gramps say that. I try my best. I do give my best. I've faced the dark dragon. I've done so much good. Why would he say that. Is this over so small mistake? There were so many elves. How could I keep an eye on all of them little things?I know he's mad. But he didn't have to say that. Am I really that bad? I can try to change, I will change. I will become someone my family can be proud of. I will make something out of myself. (4)

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><p><strong>AN:**That took longer to get up. this story was going to help me with my writer's block. Thank you to Lord Jace for reviewing.

1. From watching the show I can see that Haley does brag a lot about being smarter then Jake. He's always second best at what he does. I'm sure that he does love her and all, but a person can only take so much.

2. I'm trying to get in all of there slang they use. I'm sure everyone's notice that Jake and his firends use a lot of slang.

3. I'm sure his grandpa wouldn't really say something like this. but from watching the show, even he thinks this. Well I think he does. This is fanfiction so... yeah.

4. I know a lot of teens out there feel like their parents don'y care for the, like me. There are some days where I feel my parents just don't care. Some like jake who has a sister who best him in everything may feel this more. Most of the things happening to Jake has happened to me and my friends. These things are real and can really affect teens with low-esteem. Boys and girls a like.


	3. Entry 3 Little Miss Perfect

**Disclamer: **I don't own ADJL. None of us do. If we did why would we be here?

**Pairings: **None. I'm no good at pairings. Plus I don't really like Rose. I know some people disagree. But I just don't really like her.

**Warning: **Depressed and dark Jake. Very minor OCs, like teachers and stuff. Just background people. Self-harm. (maybe. I thought this over.) A little cute Emoness. I love emoness

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><p>Entry 3 Little miss perfect<p>

_Sometimes Haley justs annoys the crap out of me, I mean I know she is my sister and we do that to each other. But sometimes she makes me wish that I could be the smart and favortie one. Let's see how she handles benig second best. Living in another's shadow. I stilll love her and all but still. I'm the oldest and I'm out shined by my younger kid sister. _

_I detests how she rubs it in sometimes. It's always "I got straight A's," or "Which one of us goes to a gifted school?" She drives me nuts. Sometimes I just want to scream at her. She thinks I have a big ego. Pfff. She's the one with the ego the size of a griffin. I don't go sing and brag about what I can do. Well, I kind of do but not like every day. I don't rub it in her face and make her feel bad. I don't really make her doubt herself. If she's so smart then she should know that some of her "jokes" really do hurt. Does she not under stand that I'm a teenager? This is the time of our lives were we need help and carefulness. We are growing up in a time where a person is expeced to be or act in a certain way. One wrong move can destroy someone's self-steem.(1) _

_Like mine. Sometimes I feel that I can't do anyhting. That I should just give up and go wedge myself in some corner. That my parents love her more then they do me. Like I'm just the one they are forced to love. _

_She isn't helping. But I can't let my little sis bring me down. Nah dwag (2). I will keep being who I am because she doesn't matter when it comes to me. I'll do what ever I like. I can't let any of this bring me down. Not even after last night. I'll prove to gramps that I am better then Haley. I'm not a push over. I know I'm acting aberrant, but I want to show everyone I can work hard an buckle down. Bite the bullet and face the light. _

_But I can't get what he said out of my head. Does everyone think that? Am I really nothing compared to my sister? Sure I don't go to a gifted school. I only have a 3.5 GPA (3). But that dosen't mean I don't hve other talents too. I guess I'm just ambiguous. Well that's what Haley says about me. I've picked a few things up here and there. High school really did help me set things straight. I'm trying harder and balancing my day and work. _

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><p>I close the book and stare at my wall. Things are going well at school. I'm getting better grades and the teachers don't hate me. But its not good enough. I will try harder. I want my parents to be proud of me.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: **Sorry that took so long to update. My internet was being dumb and stopped working for like a month. Plus school is getting in the way. High school is not easy. But I love it. I'm a upper class men, and paying for it. Eight periods with AP and Honors classes and Advance Math. I growing white hairs and my blood pressure is rising. **About two and a half months? (give or take a few...) Well, this update won't really make up for it... But I will. I have been planing out my chapters. I will not disappoint in the future. Hopefully. But it may take a while. My connection is really slow. School will also get in the way. So updates may be slower. *runs away from the mobs***

1. I know I maybe over stating this. But Everyone should watch what they say and do to other people. It's going to be a main point in the story

2. Again with the slang they use.

3. I would think that Jake learned how to balance his school work with his work. Not so much but well enough. Even he would understand that high school is no joking matter. The first year of high school is as important as the last. 3.5 is not that bad. About half As and half Bs. But that isn't good enough for most colleges. Well at least the ones I'm looking at.


	4. Entry 4 High School

Entry 4: High school

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><p><strong>This chapter is slightly rushed...sorry <strong>

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><p>All I have to say is that I really do like high school. High school has really change who I am and how I treat my school life. I was finally able to master my time management. Before school work and dragon work always interfered with each other. But now I have gotten it down. I have set times when I study, set days on which I train. I have a set-sleeping schedule that allows me at least 6 hours at least a night. Dragon work may get in the way of my schedules and plans, but that is to be expected I guess. And all of that has paid off. My grades have never looked better<p>

I'm proud of my grades. I'm proud that I was able to clean up my act. I may not be the perfect 4.0 student that my parents want, but I am proud of who I am and what I have done. They're not the ones protecting all of magical America from certain doom. I am. There is only so much I can do.

Over the summer I was about to join some programs made for kids like me. Troubled kids that have no idea what they want to do in the future. I along with other teens spent a week learning about different type of careers (other then doctors, lawyers, etc…). We toured offices, got to job shadow and try some hands on things. That experience really opened my eyes. There are so many other careers that I could do other then what my parents' want from me.

I have made up my mind. I want to work with graphics. Computer graphics, video games, design and so much more. When I was job shadowing, I saw all the amazing things that could be created. Games, advertisements and whatever else! It was amazing what they could do on a computer. I want to be part of it.

So that's how it all started. I enrolled myself in this program that teaches high school students the basis the career. The classes that I need to take in high school and college. The skills that are needed and how the business is run. I really am enjoying myself and I'm feeling better then ever.

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><p>"Hey Jakie, how are your classes going?" Trixe asks as she and Spud come up the table I was working at.<p>

"Great! I can't believe it! Math and science have never been easier!"

"Thats great! I can't believe you took all these classes!" Spud says. "I mean so many numbers and fancy concepts."

"YO Spud's right! I mean in middle school you had a really hard time with this stuff. Now…it's all cake to you! I'm so proud of you Jakie," Trixe smiles at me.

I smile back. "Guess its 'cuz I never had the motive back then! Yo that summer program really helped me!"

"I'm glad it did."

"Man, never seen you so into your studies before! OH NO! Aliens have come down and replace the real Jake with a clone!" Spud yells while grabbing at his hair.

"What's wrong with cha boy?"

I laugh. "Oh Spud…you will never change."

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><p><strong>Note: Hey! I know its been like forever...two years? Wow... Sorry for the wait, but I had lost interest in fanfiction on this site for a while. Its back again. But not as powerful as before. I will try to update this story because I really like the idea. I don't make promises on how often Uni starts soon... So please enjoy and comment<strong>


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